Champagne Problems Critique – Netflix’s Newest Holiday Romcom Misses the Sparkle.
At the risk of come across as the Grinch, it’s hard not to lament the early arrival of Christmas films before Thanksgiving. While temperatures drop, it seems too soon to fully indulge in Netflix’s yearly feast of low-cost festive entertainment.
Similar to American chocolates that no longer include genuine cocoa, Netflix’s Christmas movies are counted on for their style of badness. They offer rote familiarity – nostalgic casting, modest spending, artificial winter scenes, and absurd premises. In the worst cases, these films are forgettable train wrecks; in the best scenarios, they are forgettable fun.
Champagne Problems, the newest holiday concoction, blends into the broad center of unremarkable territory. Helmed by the filmmaker, who previously previous romantic comedy was so disposable, this film goes down like low-quality champagne – fittingly lackluster and context-dependent.
The story starts with what looks like an AI-generated ad for supermarket sparkling wine. This commercial is actually the pitch of the main character, portrayed by Minka Kelly, to her coworkers at the Roth Group. Sydney is the construction paper cut-out of a career woman – underestimated, phone-obsessed, and driven to the harm of her personal life. After her superior sends her to France to close a deal over Christmas, her sister insists she take one night in the city to enjoy life.
Naturally, Paris is the ideal location to pull someone from digital navigation, even when the city is covered in below-grade CGI snow. At a overly quaint bookshop, the lead has a charming encounter with Henri Cassell, and he distracts her from her phone. Following rom-com conventions, she initially resists this ideal guy for frivolous excuses.
Just as predictable are the film elements that proceed at sudden shifts, mirroring the rotation of aging champagne bottles in the cellars of the family vineyard. The twist? The love interest is the successor to Chateau Cassel, hesitant to run it and bitter toward his dad for selling it. In perhaps the film’s biggest addition to romantic comedies, Henri is extremely judgmental of corporate buyouts. The conflict? The heroine truly thinks she’s not stripping this family-owned company for parts, competing against three stereotypical rivals: a stern Frenchwoman, a severe blonde German man, and a delusional gay billionaire.
The development? Sydney’s shady colleague Ryan appears without warning. The core? Henri and Sydney look yearningly at one another in holiday pajamas, across a huge divide in financial perspective.
The gift and the curse is that nothing here sticks beyond a short-lived thrill on an empty stomach. There is no real absorbent filler – Minka Kelly, most famous for her part in Friday Night Lights, delivers a strictly serviceable portrayal, superficially pleasant and gestures of care, almost motherly than romantic lead. Tom Wozniczka provides just the right amount of French charm with mild self-torture and little else. The gimmicks are unfunny, the romance is harmless, and the happy-ever-after is straightforward.
Despite its philosophizing on the luxury of sparkling wine, no one is pretending it is anything other than a mainstream product. The things to hate are also the things to like. One might call an expert’s opinion about it a champagne problem.
- The Holiday Film is now available on the platform.
